Bringing
Up a Moral Child
Bringing Up a Moral Child
“And these words which I command you
today shall be in your
heart. You shall teach them diligently to
your children..” (Deuteronomy 6:6-7).
e saw in the previous chapter
that the two societal
trends of increasing divorce
and placing children in day
care so parents can work have
made it more difficult for
parents to rear moral
children. Both trends have had a
significant impact on
children.
Marriages today seem to be
more fragile than in previous generations.
Fewer people are getting
married,
and when they do, they are
older
than previous generations
were at
their first marriage. Couples
are
also having fewer children
and are
divorcing more.
The breadwinner-and-homemaker
couple with several children
of previous generations has
been
replaced by today’s
postmodern
family—often characterized by
single parents, blended
families,
unmarried or remarried
parents
and two-career households.
With the deconstruction of
stable family units of previous generations,
more single parents have been
economically pressured into placing their
children in day care so they
can have more freedom to earn a living. The
result is that children are
not receiving the training they so desperately
need from their parents—the
adults who can have the most profound
influence on them. Devoid of
moral instruction, many children create
problems for their parents,
teachers, themselves and society at large.
In spite of these negative
trends, many parents, including single
parents, are raising
well-adjusted, moral children who successfully enter
Bringing Up a Moral Child
In spite of some negative
trends, many parents, including
single parents, are raising
well-adjusted, moral children
who successfully enter
adulthood.
and
Family:
The Missing Dimension
God's discipline
Consider that God chastises
Christians out of love for them. Notice
Hebrews 12:5-11: “And you
have forgotten the exhortation that addresses
you as children—‘My child, do
not regard lightly the discipline of the
Lord, or lose heart when you
are punished by him; for the Lord disciplines
those whom he loves, and
chastises every child whom he accepts.’
“Endure trials for the sake
of discipline. God is treating you as
children; for what child is
there whom a parent does not discipline?
If you do not have that
discipline in which all children share, then
you are illegitimate and
not his children. Moreover,
we had human
parents to discipline us,
and we respected them.
Should we not be even
more
willing to be subject to the
Father of
spirits and live?
“For they disciplined
us for a short time as
seemed best to them,
but he disciplines us
for our good, in order that
we may share his holiness. Now, discipline
always seems painful rather
than pleasant at the time, but later it yields
the peaceful fruit of
righteousness to those who have been trained by
it” (NRSV).
The preceding passage from
Hebrews quotes from Proverbs 3:11-12,
comparing God’s correction of
us as His children to human parents
disciplining their children
out of love and concern for them.
These verses teach us several
vital principles regarding discipline.
From them we learn:
(1) God disciplines in love.
(2) Discipline is not
rejection but part of our maturing and growth.
(3) Discipline produces
respect.
(4) Discipline produces good
fruit and righteousness.
The Greek word for
“discipline” in the passage in Hebrews includes
the concepts of education and
training, corrective guidance and corrective punishment. Proper child rearing
involves all of these elements of
training and focuses on the
long-term benefits to the child.
Another biblical principle
that parents should consider when evaluating
methods of discipline is
expressed by the apostle Paul: “Let every soul
be subject to the governing
authorities. For there is no authority except
from God, and the authorities
that exist are appointed by God. Therefore
whoever resists the authority
resists the ordinance of God, and those who
resist will bring judgment on
themselves” (Romans 13:1-2). That being
so, parents should understand
that some disciplinary practices mentioned
in the Scriptures may be
restricted by local, state or national laws.
What about hurting their feelings?
Some parents are opposed to
corrective discipline because it hurts
their children’s feelings.
Yet this is what discipline is supposed to do.
Hebrews 12:11 explains that
there is a “painful” aspect to discipline.
Family psychologist John
Rosemond affirms this principle,
saying,
“.
.
. Discipline does not have to
hurt a child physically in order to ‘leave
its mark,’ but it must always
hurt the child’s feelings, otherwise it is
worthless.” Continuing, he
adds, “Without that pain, a conscience will
never form”
(ParentingbyTheBook.com/essay_4.htm). (For additional
understanding regarding
children and discipline, see “Discipline With
Encouragement” on page 72 and
“The Value of Consequences” on page
75 of this booklet.)
Blessing of responsibility
The Bible tells us that
children are wonderful gifts, truly blessings
from God (Psalm 127:3). Yet
they need guidance and instruction. They
each need the special
one-on-one care and teaching that only parents
can give.
Bringing up children from
helpless babes to responsible, moral adults
is perhaps the greatest
responsibility we can have in this life, and it
can bring great rewards. The
blessing for doing so is twofold. First,
children derive all the
benefits from living in a godly home and being
taught God’s ways. Second, we
parents become spiritually mature as we
struggle with ourselves and
the challenges of raising godly children in an
ungodly world.
Being a wise and loving
parent is a challenging responsibility that
helps us prepare for being
part of God’s eternal family. May we and our
children fulfill the
wonderful destiny God has in store for each of us!
Bringing Up a Moral Child
The Bible tells us that
children are wonderful gifts, truly
blessings from God. Yet they
need guidance and instruction.
The Missing Dimension
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